Danny Dykes

Author: dannydykes

  • 5 Steps to Presenting to those Smarter than You

    To paraphrase Shakespeare, “some are born intelligent, others achieve PhD’s, and some have presentations thrust upon them.” Well, that may be an overreach of the term paraphrase, but it is still true. Perhaps like me, despite being the dumbest person in the room, you are the one standing on the podium speaking. 

    When that happens, how can ensure that you will be a successful speaker when speaking to those smarter than you? Here are five things that have helped me

    Speak with authority and confidence, but not with arrogance

    Because you showed up with a well-rehearsed and well-researched presentation backed by data (If not, see point 5), you have the right to speak with confidence and authority. At the same time, as it is impossible to know everything about the subject, you do not have the right to be arrogant.

    As such, consider humbly stating that you are still learning, yet based on your research, you have some important findings to share. And then lean into what you have learned in your preparations and speak to those with confidence and a measure of authority.

    This puts you into a similar position as to those in the room. Even the most brilliant are still learning, and they are there in the room to continue to learn. They will be happy to learn from you, unless of course, you act as an arrogant know-it-all which often triggers a response in other experts of fight (argue) or flight (fall asleep).

    Speak truthfully, and come back to an answer when you don’t know

    They say 37% of all statistics are made up. As such, someone may challenge your statistics, or ask questions that you may not have an answer to. If this happens, you may need to defer an answer. That may be hard, as we instinctively want to answer all questions, even if the answers are made up. But if you make up things to appear like the expert, those in the room may see through it, and it will cast doubt on your entire presentation. Instead, repeat the question, understand the question, and promise to return with an answer. 

    And of course, do return with an answer.

    Know that the audience are people to, and speak to them as such

    I have many colleagues with PhD’s, books and many technical papers to their name, but when you ask them about their weekend, discussion turns to their family and the quirks of raising toddlers, or the confusion of raising teenagers, or just the need to get away on a vacation. In other words, they are people, full of emotion, passion and complexity. They just also happen to be experts in their field. 

    As such, when building your presentation, don’t forget to tap into that which makes us human. Use meaningful quotes, photos, stories and illustrations to help convey your message. It will help make your message memorable, and something they will talk about when you are done.

    Believe in your message, and what you want the crowd to know

    When building your presentation, find the message you want the experts to walk away with. What do they need to know? What is in your material they should remember? What is it that you believe in? If you have these ideas firmly in mind, when you get up on the stage, you will be passionate to share the information, and it will come across to those in the audience. They will see the importance of it, and will listen.

    Now, if you don’t believe in your message, or you simply don’t have a message, I suggest you feign illness on the day of the presentation. Don’t be on the stage, you have nothing to talk about.

    Prepare, Practice, Polish

    I was impressed when I saw some executives leave a meeting to go hear a dry run of a presentation that one of the presidents was about to give. He was already a recognized industry name, and carried all the credentials that qualified him among the best of experts, but there he was practicing his presentation in front of colleagues. He knew the value of practice and verifying what he was going to speak on, and how to deliver it. How much more important this step is for those of us less qualified. 

    So, my last recommendation when speaking to those smarter than you, is to do the work required before the presentation. First make sure all your references are accurate, and your technical findings backed by data. Take the time to understand the findings and what they mean, and when you don’t, find someone who can explain them to you. 

    With this behind you, the next step is to practice the presentation, outloud and often. If possible you may find it good to speak to colleagues who can offer constructive criticism. Then finally, polish your presentation until you give it. Then when you are on the stage, your presentation turns out to be an old friend there with you, helping you to speak to all those smarter than you in the audience.

  • Shirking culpability: A Dad’s guide

    Shirking culpability: A Dad’s guide

    For all dads … please read on. For all moms … please stop reading and forward this blog to the father of house 

    ————

    Dads, do you have a desire to reclaim your weekend naps on the sofa, guilt free? To tee off some mornings knowing your wife and kids are back home smiling in full support of your well deserved R&R? Do you wish to enjoy a guys night out without a dog’s night back home? 

    Then never, ever get in trouble. 

    Impossible you say! But I’m here to say it’s not! How may you ask? Well read on for some secrets to shirking culpability and enjoying the freedom all great fathers should enjoy.

    First, why should you accept advice from me? Well, I’m proud to say, that recently I was pronounced the “best” dad by one of my daughters, and thus I feel not only qualified, but impelled to share with you my secrets (well at least the ones that work for a household of daughters) 

    STEAL ALL THE GOOD IDEAS

    Not that long ago, we needed more pantry space in the house. We had a pantry full of pre-packaged snack-sized foods of everything imaginable. We wanted to give our girls variety in their lunches (provided that it was full of salt and/or sugar) As such, my wife had the idea to add shelves to the pantry and told me about it for weeks. A couple month later, I awoke on a Saturday to the sound of the doorbell. I soon found myself talking to an experienced carpenter about the 3 shelves my wife had requested him to add to the pantry. When the 2 minutes of explaining what was needed was over, he looked at me and in a tone questioning my entire manhood, he asked, “Is that all?” Later that day, I had the great idea of installing three shelves! And with a quick visit (or two) to the Home Depot, I was well on my way to expanding the pantry. The wife loved “my” idea and our snacks have been well-organized (mostly) ever since.

    Another time, when my wife was pregnant with kid #2, she had idea to host a painting party for a brand new nursery. I got the invite when at work. So I rushed home and was soon enjoying the now “paint and pizza” party. It ended early with a sleepy wife; however, I stole her idea to keep the party going into the wee hours of the night, and finish the room.

    I have since had many opportunities to steal good ideas from my wife. Such as fixing the noisy fridge, the leaking roof, the broken garage door, catching mice in the attic, and many other ideas around the house.

    So, if you want to avoid getting in trouble, then act on all such great ideas even if you have to steal them from your spouse (or in-laws).

    QUESTION THE FAMILIES SPENDING HABITS

    Another way I have kept out of trouble, is by questioning expenditures in the family and ensuring everyone follows the budget. I have asked with respect to staying on budget:

    • Another dress?
    • Did you really need that 10,000 latte this month?
    • Who is this Kendra Scott person?
    • Yet another dinner at chain-de-jour?
    • Hamilton tickets? Are you crazy?
    • And etc. 

    This has helped the family understand that I am concerned about the budget, and they don’t question my judgement when I buy:

    • A dress, because it makes them look beautiful
    • A coffee because they a had rough day
    • Jewelry because they are so special to me
    • An dinner at ‘You-need-the-foodie-experience’ chain
    • Hamilton tickets because of a lifetime memory, wait… how much?
    • And etc., well, because I love them…

    So to avoid getting in trouble, overspend on your kids, while questioning why the budget doesn’t fit.

    KEEP ALL ELECTRONICS TOP NOTCH

    I rarely have time to watch television, but when my kids do, they are watching it on a well-researched big screen. I mean what dad (I mean kid) shouldn’t have a great TV? 

    Additionally, I have worked hard to make sure all the mobile devices are working, and are backed up. Occasionally I login into their device and clean up all the apps they keep downloading (what’s with this minecraft?). I also happily give a lecture about how important it is to pay attention to security and proper maintenance of their device. They have enjoyed my lecture so much, they have let their devices get out of shape many more times, so that they can hear the lecture again.

    I have also worked hard to make sure the internet is faster than the neighbors, and that the wifi mesh network reaches into all the rooms. They have valued this service so much, I regularly get notifications from my internet provider that Netflix (I mean their use of the internet for education) has exceeded the monthly quota. In fact, there once was a time that I didn’t even know the providers had a quota. I do now, because I know how to stay out of trouble!

    DRINK A BEER

    Another way I have shirked culpability, is by drinking a beer. I have opened a cool one as they say, when I grill up their favorite steak or burger, or when I do the lawn, re-organize the garage, make the house safer with new cameras, power wash the entire house, and many other necessary chores. Now, when my kids see me drinking a beer, they automatically assume I am doing another great thing around the house for the well-being of the entire family. For them, drinking a beer equates to a good thing.

    PUT DOWN THE BEER

    That said, you also have to know when to put down a beer and pick up a seltzer water instead. In fact, a typical early evening in my household of daughters may include talk and laughter, food and dishes, toys and teddy bears, games and pets. Then suddenly, like a hailstorm on a sunny day, a small squabble will erupt with bursts of high volumed opinion of various sizes. It’s clear that there is some significant or insignificant issue going on. I must then step in to divine the correct opinion by making up another (aka my opinion) and calm the clan.

    There is also the time where a dad is needed to listen to and through the tears (sometimes a lot of tears). To just be there. To be their support. And when asked, to answer questions, even the life ones.

    So, yes, to stay on the good side of the family, at times, put down the beer.

    RECYCLE

    Another secret I have learned, is to make sure the recycling is done. This means taking the recycling out to the curb once a week, including packing down all the Amazon boxes and other packaging, and hiding my beer cans under them. It includes making sure the trash fits into the trash cans and is ready to be hauled off. 

    But not just this, it also includes making sure the front yard looks good and to return the weeds to compost, and to keep the yard looking fresh and to avoid having to recycle “HOA notification” mail.

    I have also found it important to keep the fridge organized, and to eat all the good leftovers to make room for more. I must do my part as the dad, and to keep out of trouble.

    LOCK THE DOOR

    Another way to avoid blame in the family, is to keep them safe and secure. For example, they all love that I have installed a camera in the living room that lets you see what is going on at anytime of day, even when you are not at home! In fact, I have enjoyed randomly giving a shout out to our dancing queen in the living room. And by her look of surprise, I think she enjoyed it too. 

    It’s also important to have a doorbell that lets you know who stopped by, and to let you tell that teenage boy who is knocking on the door, that you are not afraid to go back to jail. I have never seen a boy run so fast.

    It’s also good to keep your kids in your “find your friends” app on your phone, so you know where they are at any time, and then to be home to greet them when they arrive to hear your lecture about being out late.

    So yes, stay on the good side of your family by doing whatever you can, to keep them secure.

    WALK THE DOG

    I have also found that I stay free of the dog house by making our dog love and respect me. For example, within a few months of getting him, I decided to take over the responsibility of the daily walk from my kids. This has improved our bond immensely. He is always by my side, as we listen to the family hailstorms and he sides with my opinion. I have also taught him how to be brave and bark at all those who knock at the door, and the occasional person who walks by the back fence. Thus, he is as protective as me, the alpha male. Of course, I have also allowed him to dote on my kids by letting him sleep with them, eat their excess toys, and their not-so-good leftovers. Thus he is part of the family, but he looks to me for guidance and he never blames me. This has surely been an influence on the kids.

    PLAY BALL

    Now, with all this serious advice, I have one that is less so, but also very important. Don’t forget to be silly with the kids and enjoy games with them. For example, one of my favorite games to play with them is “Monkey in the middle.” The premise of the game is to play catch with everyone but the one designated as the monkey. The monkey then does their best to intercept the ball. I have found that I can be quite the successful monkey. When I am the monkey, I run straight up to the one with the ball, get close as I can without touching them, hold my hands high over their heads, and then to make a funny monster face while screaming. This has often caused the ball to fall right out their hands as they run in the opposite direction. While it has been a while that we have played, I know they enjoyed the times we played monkey in the middle together, and this has kept me free from blame.

    Other games are also good, such as baseball, soccer, badminton, tether ball, and kick the deflated ball around the yard. 

    DANCE

    As a father of girls, I know that they love to dance, and as a father of teenage girls, I also know that there are times that dancing in public is less fun than it used to be. To help overcome that new fear of dancing in public, I have found that a good swing or jitterbug song comes in handy. I have then publicly let them know they are my best dance partners, and worth having a mild heart attack when the song ends. We have then enjoyed many dances together and hopefully many more. 

    In fact, to test it out, I recently danced in the street to a beat from a car’s improved audio system in front of my teenager. Would she respond? She did! Soon she was mimicking my moves and we “impressed” many strangers. I have never been so proud. And because I dance with my girls, I can do no wrong. 

    APPLICATION

    Well, I hope you enjoyed some of my secrets on how to shirk culpability. In all honesty, I’ve found that a true application of them has not granted me perfect amnesty in the house, but they have helped me to love my kids even more than I knew was possible. And I know that if you apply the same, the same will happen to you. It’s not always easy to be a great dad, but it is always worth it.  

    Lastly, no doubt you have some secrets of your own on shirking culpability. If you do, please share them in the comments! Then we can all become not just great dad’s but the best ones. 

  • 10 Times You Should Listen to Your Fear of Failure

    You and your entire team are before the senior managers getting yelled at, and before you know what happened, you are fired in a theatrical display before all your colleagues. O, the shame you’ll feel on that walk out. Then the quiet weeks that turn into months as you you scramble for a new job, and before long you find yourself bragging about your in-depth knowledge of ramen noodles and all’s its salty flavors. Ha, well, I guess it’s not really that bad, it has some nostalgia of college, and well you survived just fine then and will do so again. And with all that time, perhaps you can finally create that blog about “Living off Ramen”, attracting a huge following with all sorts of ad revenue coming in. So what are you worried about? Time to squash that fear of failure and press on. The project definitely has a small percent chance of success, you just need to work harder, and even if the worst case happens, no big deal, it’s just ramen.

    Until you wake up from this dream, and recognize that the worst case is actually that this project may never end! It is a future of endless weeks of you arguing with your gut, and fighting a battle that is only fought by the cowardly. It’s easy to let the project live, it takes true bravery to kill the project, and failing to learn before you fail to learn. 

    So when should you summon up the bravery to end a project that is doomed to fail? This article will describe ten times you should listen to your fear of failure. And it’s not just the easy indicators such as lack of funding, technical obstacles, or business climate, but rather about the things you see and hear from your team, from your organization and from your gut.

    Let’s start with your team.

    The team is embarrassed by the product

    I was once leading a software project with an aggressive (shall we say made up) timeline, and I pushed the team to work long hours to reach our ship date. On that date, I invited the team into a room, and held up a symbolic DVD with the product name and asked everyone to sign it, as I was going to put it up in the hallway to reflect our pride in the software we had created.

    The lead software architect laughed, stood up and walked out of the room. I still held up the DVD, and gradually the team did sign it, mostly because I was asking them to do so, or they were too new to the product to know any better. At the end of the day; however, they did not want to see that DVD on a wall, and I think in a few weeks it quietly disappeared. The team was not proud of their work. In hindsight, I should have cancelled the product launch then and there. Instead it was the client who effectively cancelled the product when they embarked on a quest to break the all-time record on support call volume. 

    So, if your team is not proud of the work, if they make excuses on why it’s not a good idea to do a demo… Listen to what they are saying. It’s time to pivot, for your team should be proud of what they have made, even if its imperfect. They should be excited to show demos and glad to sign the memorabilia.  

    The team does not believe they can succeed

    As I passed their desk, I asked one of the devs about their ability to achieve our quarterly goals, which just so happened to be tied to our variable compensation, and they replied, “Oh those, I’ve already given up on those.” As they were just a couple weeks old, it should have been clear to me, that they had no chance of being met. After a little digging, I discovered that feeling was shared by others in the team. They still came to work, still tried and some even worked late, but nobody believed they would succeed. The morale was low, it was just a group of people working because they had to, they were working for a paycheck, and perhaps a chance at a little more if a miracle would happen, but no one was working to succeed. At the end, they were right, we did not make our goals, and in fact, we just reset the goals … over and over again.

    When your team says, it’s impossible, ask why. Ask why again and again until you get to the root causes of the problem in front of the team. If they are solvable, action the change. If they are not solvable, or you are not in a position to action on the change, propose to kill the project, before it kills you.

    Major stakeholders don’t want you to succeed

    As I stood up to give a review of a project just underway, I happily introduced myself and my new title of [xyz] program manager. At that point, one of the stakeholders who was new to the project, interrupted and asked me, “Where did you get that title? I do not have a [xyz] program!” And before I could explain that it was from my manager, another major stakeholder, they jumped into a diatribe about my project and expressed frustration that it even existed. Other stakeholders argued back, and by the end of the meeting, the project was still alive and we convinced the unhappy stakeholder to “disagree and commit.” Except, that they seemed to forget the “commit” part as soon as the meeting ended. Everywhere this stakeholder went, they expressed the frustrations and deprioritized my requirements from other parts of the company. After a few months fighting this ongoing collateral damage, the project collapsed and I had a new addiction to antacid chewables. 

    Of course it would be easy for me to say the project failed because of the vendetta the disgruntled stakeholder carried against the project, but the reality is the project failed because I did not manage the stakeholder. At times, I had even started to ignore him, and other times I felt he would see the importance of the project just as soon we had that first release… if only we could get to that first [impossible] release. 

    Instead, I should have stopped the project until agreement was reached or a true “disagree and commit” relationship could have been established. You must have stakeholders on your side, not against you.

    No one cares if you succeed

    I had prepared the presentation deck very carefully, rehearsed my speech many times, and even had reviewed answers to possible questions that may come up in the scheduled review of my project. My team and I showed up, and had everything ready early. Then no one showed up to the meeting. This was during a time were we had a loose software process where we did not require attendance, so our stakeholders did not show up. Which now makes me wonder how many projects are only visible because attendance is forced… At any rate, this happened a few more times in the project, and when they did show up, they showed up with a laptop to look at other work. This project was simply not on their radar. My boss told to me to brush it off by saying that the project was run so well, no one was worried. Of course, my ego was boosted, but when the funding did not show up in the following budget cycle, I knew it was because the priorities were not aligned with the business and more importantly there was no significant value for our clients.

    Looking back, I should have looked at our priorities and questioned very hard the value of what we were building. Does it deliver real value to our clients? If it does, then communicate that value and make sure the stakeholders see it and understand it. And of course, if there is value is lacking for our client, it would be better to pause the project and refocus efforts on one that does. The lack of interest is a just a small sign that alignment is needed, not that folks don’t care.

    You are not setup to succeed

    I was in a brainstorming session with a senior manager who was reporting to me, and as we drafted a few ideas, he then went to a white board and made a matrix listing each project as a row, and then for each column he listed project manager, architect, QA, then and number of developers. At the time I was frustrated as I would not be able to get the funding to start the projects with the resources he wanted, and he would not budge without them. He was wise. A few years later, I was in a similar boat and showcased a matrix and watched as my manager erased a few resources and said, make it happen, times are tough. As I loved the project, I jumped in, and I tried, but as you have probably guessed from reading these entries, it did not happen. In fact, during one review session with the key sponsor, he turned to me and told me how much he loved the idea, but flatley said that it was also apparent I was not setup to succeed, and to come back when I was. Then he would believe me. Project was paused.

    The lesson I learned here, is that you need a plausible path to success. If it is not possible due to a lack of funding, resources, and you have exhausted your capacity, then call it out and hold your ground. Be the one to pause it until you have a real plan, that you believe in and is achievable. 

    Your strategy is being lucky

    The outsourcing manager told me that I was extremely lucky to be able to get their best developer, and I was thankful for it. I had a team that did not have the experience nor the time to learn the new technology, so I was lucky to find the experienced and available developer. He was indeed very good, and well-qualified for what we needed, but after a few days of digging into our requirements, he looked at me as if I were from another planet as the amount of work was insane. I told him not to worry as we had interns coming, and we were lucky again, as one of them seemed to have a built in knack for the software language, and we actually pulled off a miracle. We were lucky. It did not last though, and in fact, as the project scaled, our reliance on lucky recruiting was not able to find the skills we needed, and we delayed the project month after month until it fizzled. 

    Looking back, it’s great when you find the right person [resource, sponser, low cost, etc …] by chance, and you should use that to your advantage; however, you should always plan that you will not, and work to find the right person [resource, sponser, low cost, etc…] If you do not have a plan to succeed than acknowledge that you are planning to fail.

    Plan B is the strategy

    “Well,” he said, “I’ll do as much as I can until we buy another company that has done it right.” He surprised me when he said this. He was one of the busiest leads in the company, yet, now it seemed he was only working at impossible tasks to pass time until another solution was found. He was unaware of other companies being acquired, or side ventures being funded. He simply assumed that our company would have to go with this approach, because that what was done in the past, and it was the best plan B he could think of. He struggled for many more months until plan B became not an acquisition but a new project. I hope he is not still busy waiting for another plan B.

    If a project is not setup to succeed, and you are secretly hoping a non-existent plan B happens, then stop the project. Create a plausible plan A that is setup for success.

    You are unable to end the “fake it” phase of “fake it until you make it”

    I was walking in the hallway and I saw a video of a product demo that I made over a year ago. While the video had elements of working software, it also had a lot of creative editing. I had used it to share the idea of the product vision, and to fake it until we made it. I had since left the project to work on other projects, yet I was able to get an update from the new project manager. When I asked for a demo, I got a video. They were still having to fake it, until they make it. And I knew, with all these videos still being shown, many would believe it was ready, when it was far from ready, and the team was driving the stakeholder head on into a collision with reality.

    At times, you do need to fake it in order to demonstrate the ambition and vision, but you should stop as soon as you have buy in and move as quickly as possible to live demos. Live demos that are good and/or bad. Especially if they are bad, as that helps you set the expectations and leverage the learnings. In time, the demos will be good, and the demos will be live code and the project will succeed, but not if you keep faking it over and over and over again, year after year after painful year.

    You have a pension

    I have actually heard on multiple occasions, from multiple folks, “I would quit in a heartbeat. This project [has no chance of succeeding | is crazy | is taking us in the wrong direction]; however, I only have a couple more years before my pension kicks in, so I’ll ride it out.”  What? What kind of career is that? It’s the kind where the passion has ended and hopelessness has set in. The project will not succeed, or if it does, it will likely be a mediocre project.

    If you are in a project that thrives on support only from those who cannot quit, and they all want to, then you should. Find a project that people would work on, even if they had no pension.

    You don’t want to succeed

    There is the old story of a guy who is the best in his class of tree cutters. After clearing a huge section of forest, he climbs a nearby tree to discover he is in the wrong forest. Suddenly his desire to cut down another tree is greatly diminished. Even if all the other tree cutters tell him otherwise, he is done cutting trees in this forest. Similarly, I have been involved with projects that will end with a product no one wants, or ends with a result that will negatively impact performance (such as projects that introduce unnecessary management bureaucracy). For these projects it was best for me to leave them as soon as possible.

    And if you find yourself on a project whose end goals don’t align with yours or that the project you are working on doesn’t align with the companies… You are in the wrong forest. Time to end the project and move on, even if everyone else tells you otherwise.

    Now with all these ten reasons to listen to your inner fear of failure, you may want to abandon all hope, as you may have projects with some or all these elements. It may be true that some of your projects you need to bail on; however, it may be true, that you can fix it. Sometimes it is a stand-down with your stakeholders, exposing the flaws, and recalibrating expectations and setting yourself and the project back up for success with a real chance of success. It may be terrifying to do that, yet, if you don’t, the results are more terrifying. So be brave, be courageous, and be the leader you were meant to be, and act to put yourself on the path of success.

  • My middle name is…

    My middle name is…

    actually Eugene, which I feel is strong and good name; however, it does not fully say who I am. As such, my middle name often changes to reflect who I am at any given moment.

    Often it may simply revolve around food, such as cheesecake, or cranberry juice. This is just because I really love both of them. I also love licorice, IPA’s, strong coffee and a good bowl of chili as a true Texan would. So, I may at times have a middle name to state as such.

    And my middle name may also be super dad, cool dad, or just average dad, but still one I love to have as I work to raise my three girls with an eye towards an optimistic future, one that they create by the actions and decisions the make everyday.

    My middle name is also loving husband, kind husband, always bragging about wife husband and @#%! husband. Although I try to avoid the last one as much as possible. I’ve been married over 20 years now and can’t imagine life without my lovely wife.

    My middle name is also spiritual, and I am active Bible student and Jehovah’s Witness, always looking to make sure I guide my life by the principles I have learned.

    And my middle name is a lot more when it comes to my profession, from developer, to architect, to product manager, to leader and most often learner.

    If you have other middle names for me, please let me know!